When It Comes To Letting A Non-Bookish Friend Borrow Your Books… What Type Are You?

*sorry for the long title*

We all hate this kind of conversation:

Friend: Hi! You like books, right?
Me: Um, yeah, totally. I mean, absolutely. I breathe and eat —
Friend: Yeah, Can I ask you for some —
Me: Oh, you want recommendations? Yay! Oh, you should read TFIOS, The Unbecoming of —
Friend: About that —
Me: What? You have read TFIOS and loved it?! Oh my god. We need to talk and fangirl about Gus and how —
Friend: *starting to lose her patience* Yes. Actually, can I borrow it?
Me: Oh Friend: Can I borrow it?
Me: What? *pretends not to hear it*
Friend: Your. Book. Tfios. Can. I. Borrow. It?
Me:*smiles* *DEEP INSIDE OH MY GOD WHAT AM I GOING TO DO DEAR GOD*

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We are always stunned, speechless, and helpless when it comes to conversation like that. They are like fucking kryptonite. I’m not saying that we are bad or selfish; actually, we are selfish when it comes to books. We are VERY protective, and I mean that in a good way. That’s how I came up with this idea (I don’t know if anyone already came up with this). Btw, these are the some of the conversations I already encountered that’s why I thought of sharing what type of “lender” we are when someone wants to borrow our books. There are 6 types:

1. The I’m-Sorry-I-Did-Not-Hear-You-Oh-Wait-I-Have-To-Go-Because-Busy Type

Friend: Can I borrow it?
Me: What? Sorry did not hear you he-he
Friend: Your book, can I?
Me: Oh, *intentionally looks at phone* about that, I’m sorry, but I have to go. My neighbor’s friend’s cousin’s puppy is sick. Bye-bye *runs immediately*

2. The I’m-Sorry-Someone-Already-Borrowed-It type

Friend: Can I borrow TFIOS?
Me: Oh, I’d love to! But someone already borrowed it.
Friend: Oh, how about Paper Towns?
Me: Sorry! But my cousin already borrowed it.
Friend: Is that so? How about How To Love?
Me: Yeah, but my 2nd cousin already borrowed it.
Friend: Perks? Me: Borrowed. 3rd cousin. Sorry.
Friend: Looking for Alaska?
Me: Borrowed. 5th cousin. Sorry.
Friend: Fifty Shades?
Me: Borrowed. Grandmother. Sorry.

3. The-Spoiler-y type

Friend: So, the TFIOS? Is it good?
Me: Yes! Buy it. Now.
Friend: Oh, can I just borrow it?
Me: Sure, but be ready because you will definitely cry because Gus and Hazel had sex and Gus and Hazel went to Amsterdam and just so awesome and the Gus died, yeah, he died, what a bummer, right? And Isaac’s eulogy is just so fucking heartbreaking. And Gus’s letter is just so fucking so fucking good I cried for hours.
Friend: ……
Me: Yeah! Here’s the book! Enjoy!

4. The I-Will-Scare-You-To-Death- Type

Friend: Can I borrow it?
Me: Sure.
Friend: Thanks xoxo
Me: Welcome! Don’t ruin my book, okay? My boss’s friend’s uncle gave it to me before he was murdered. And I promised to him that I will never let anyone borrow it because of reasons. But you’re my friend, so maybe he will not mind. I talk to him every single day, btw. Oh, he’s right there. Touching your shoulders. Have fun, okay?

5. The-I-Will-Let-You-Die-Of-Guilt type

Friend: Can I?
Me: Yes!
Friend: Thanks
Me: No probs, actually, it was a gift from Hermes, you know Hermes, right? This book is so close to my heart. So fucking close. And Hermes, he stole it from Hades for my birthday. I’m still so fucking touch and can’t believe it. *sobs* but, you know what, Hermes, *sobs* died *hiccups* because *wipes tears* of this book. So, please, for the love of fucking Hades, don’t you dare *sobs uncontrollably* ruin this book, you heaaaaaaaaar me?

6. The Overly-Strict-You-Will-Never-Even-Touch-My-Book-Because-Of-The-Demands type

Friend: Can I borrow it?
Me: Sure, but, you have to pledge first okay ”I’m not going to fucking ruin this book, I swear to angels” SWEAR? DAMN IT. and then you if you’re reading and eating, just put the damn food first okay, I don’t care if you get sick because you did not eat I just don’t want bread crumbs all over the book. And please use gloves; I don’t want you fingerprints all over my book. And don’t ever talk while reading, I don’t want your saliva in my book. AND you HAVE TO return it tomorrow morning at 6 AM ASAP. And please, for the love of god, if you must, don’t touch it or I will die because of it.
Friend: *flips table and stalks out of the room*

What type are you, guys? I hate to admit it but I’m actually the spoiler-y type of person when someone wants to borrow my books. I just..don’t want that person to read one of my favorite books, that’s why I spoil it for them. And I’m also #2, Whenever I’m in lost of reasons, I always say that my cousin borrowed it yada yada yada. Yes, I’m really selfish when it comes to my books because they are my babies!

So, basically, this is me if you are not really a book lover and just want to read this particular book because it is so fucking popular and you want to borrow it, well.

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I’m so sorry if I’m really selfish and greedy, but that’s the way I am. But if a book blogger or someone I really know (a reader in particular) wants to borrow my books, I will absolutely say YES! Because I know that they will take care of them like they are also their babies.

Anyway, enlighten me up! I want to know what type are you? 

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18 thoughts on “When It Comes To Letting A Non-Bookish Friend Borrow Your Books… What Type Are You?

  1. For me it depends on the book. If it’s one I wasn’t all that intrigued by, I’m more than willing to loan it to someone (and will probably try to borrow something as theirs in return :-P ), BUT if I loved it, it is mine and I will probably tell someone I let so-and-so borrow it and they’re not a very fast reader so they should probably just get their own.

    • My problem is I don’t have anyone to borrow books from. a) I don’t have much friends who read books, if there is, they more prefer ebook. b) there is no library here in the Philippines, if there is, they are more focus in academic books.Which left me alone, I don’t have a choice but to buy books on my own money. :(

      I was like you back then. If my friend wants to read it, I will gladly let her borrow it. But sharing too much..is just, ugh. One time one of my classmate borrowed this certain book (it was gift from my boyfriend) when she gave it, it was like someone step on it too many times, the cover was ruined and some of the pages were starting to fall off, she clearly didn’t care about the book at all, I mean, she didn’t even care about my feelings at all! And this is the worse, a buddy of mine borrowed one of my favorite books, she still hasn’t given it back! It is almost half a year now :( I am so done. Hahaha

      • After your experiences I definitely wouldn’t loan my books to anyone either. I have had someone borrow a movie without giving it back, but fortunately my in-laws have the same movie on VHS so I can watch it if I really want to. The only way I’d loan anything anymore is if I could live without it (not that I should have to!)

  2. I’m usually okay about lending it to non-reader friends. I tell them not to bend corners or spill things, etc. But the last couple times my friends didn’t return them for months (actually more like a year+) and one even banged it up so much we traded copies (I hadn’t read it yet so I got a brand new copy). It’s kinda made me never want to lend books to anyone ever. Unless it’s ebook format.

  3. I was laughing so hard this entire post! I think I might be… all of them… Sadly… But yes if my friend is a reader/blogger then of course they can borrow the books. But I lent City of Bones to a non-reader in high school and I ended up having to track down her mom in order to get it back. HORROR

  4. HAHAHAHAHA I was grinning and laughing the whole time I was reading this post. Bloody funny and realistic.

    I don’t like lending my books to non-readers. I’ve had a lot of trauma from past experiences. Some do physical abuse to my books while some don’t return it. Now, I can totally classify myself as 2 & 3 type.

    Fifty shades? Borrowed. Grandmother.
    I AM SO DONE HAHAHAAHA

    • I also had a lot of trauma! I just can’t. That’s why whenever I have a new book I never told my friends because they were all be like “LET ME BORROW IT PRETTY PLEASE” And I’m all like “Sorry but my cousin already borrowed it” hahahahaha

      Okay, wait, let me clarify that my grandmother didn’t really borrowed Fifty Shades! HAHAHA I might die if she did. :D

      Have a great day!xoxo

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